DEAR ABBY: My fiance’s sister and mom are going to court docket towards one another.
The mom acknowledges that she wasn’t a very good father or mother when her youngsters have been youthful. The sister claims her mom harassed her by dropping off items, notes and cash on birthdays.
Sadly, my fiance and I have been dragged into the center of the state of affairs as a result of we have been talking with each of them previous to the court docket continuing. Now, they’ve each lower us off!
I’m fairly certain it was as a result of we wouldn’t choose sides, however why ought to we have now to? We love them each. My fiance had a detailed relationship along with his sister and mom. I do know that is hurting him.
How can I assist deliver their relationships again collectively? My fiance’s sister has blocked me from all of her accounts, and if I mail a letter, I’m afraid she’s going to accuse me of harassing her, too.
— TOUGH POSITION IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR TOUGH POSITION: There isn’t any manner you may pressure a reconciliation between two events who don’t need to mend fences. You have no idea whether or not the mom’s motive for dropping off undesirable items was to harass her daughter. (It might have been.)
My recommendation is to remain firmly out of the road of fireplace till after that court docket case has been resolved.
DEAR ABBY: An excellent pal of mine, “Louis,” has massive issues. He’s in his 60s and is 50% disabled; he can nonetheless work custodial jobs.
His sister, “Gayle,” who lives 500 miles away, requested him to maneuver in together with her and her husband, saying they’d assist handle him.
Louis moved, not realizing his sister was a extreme alcoholic. She’d come dwelling from work, have six or eight drinks and change into actually belligerent with each her husband and Louis. She even gave Louis 30 days to get out of her home. He has nowhere to go as a result of he severed ties with everybody in his prior location.
I loaned Louis sufficient cash to maintain him from ravenous as he tried to discover a technique of assist. He has utilized for a number of custodial jobs.
His brother-in-law is a good individual however will not be robust sufficient to do something. Gayle has hit her husband on a number of events.
They’re at their wits’ finish and wish recommendation. Gayle refuses to hunt any sort of assist.
— THERE FOR MY FRIEND IN FLORIDA
DEAR THERE: Louis and his brother-in-law may discover some assist if they begin attending Al-Anon or Sensible Restoration conferences. As a result of they’re coping with a raging alcoholic, it could make them really feel much less remoted.
As to what it is best to advise Louis about his dwelling state of affairs: Since he burned his bridges within the city from which he relocated and doesn’t have the funds to maneuver out of his sister’s dwelling, all you are able to do is proceed to take heed to him and be as supportive as you may till he finds work.
As a result of Louis is partially disabled, he might qualify for some companies and help in his new neighborhood. Encourage him to look into these potential choices additional.
DEAR READERS: On at the present time that celebrates love, I need you to know the way a lot I worth my lengthy relationship with all of you. Wishing you all a Joyful Valentine’s Day. — WITH LOVE, ABBY
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
