From the mysterious East, now comes Carrnac the Magnificent together with his infallible predictions for the New Yr, 2026.
For these infidels preserving rating at dwelling, precisely one 12 months in the past at present, Carrnac gazed into his crystal ball and presciently predicted each the acquittal of Karen Learn and the conviction of Tania Fernandes Anderson.
Maybe not the hardest calls on the planet, Sahib. However as we used to say again within the Raj, a W is a W.
And now, the envelopes please:
Embattled MN Gov. Tim Walz resigns, one step forward of the posse, to develop into the most recent adjunct lecturer on the Harvard Institute of Politics.
That manner Walz received’t need to journey far to personally choose his inevitable Profiles in Braveness Award subsequent spring.
At her sentencing in federal court docket on Jan. 29, plus-sized BLM grifter Monica Cannon-Grant will declare that she is a sufferer of, you guessed it, racism.
After his inevitable conviction on corruption costs, crooked Democrat state Rep. Chris “Flim Flam” Flanagan will inform the choose that he too is a sufferer, of a debilitating psychological dysfunction.
Kleptomania.
The State Police will take over the probe of the $400,000 lobster theft in Taunton, however will shortly be compelled to situation an announcement denying that any troopers had been concerned, regardless of the plain similarities of the crustacean heists to many different crimes dedicated by MSP troopers lately.
Shabbily dressed NPR-listening pensioners will proceed to put on their ridiculous masks in public, as they fantasize about as soon as once more having the chance to vote for Kamala Harris.
The public sale of Karen Learn’s restored 2021 black Lexus SUV will carry in additional than $200,000 for her authorized fund.
Over-under on what number of extra multi-million-dollar meals stamp “anomalies” the feds will uncover within the illegal-alien districts: 4.
Take the over.
A neighborhood TV newscast might be canceled. Nobody will discover.
Lawrence Mayor Brian DePena is not going to graduate with honors from his most up-to-date ESL class.
As a matter of reality, el alcalde received’t graduate, interval.
As spring arrives, Mayor Wu asks Archbishop Henning to bless town’s sacred bicycle lanes.
On April 4, Gov. Healey will maintain a particular ceremony to commemorate the three-month anniversary of not a single blade from one among her beloved wind generators breaking off and crashing right into a cranberry lavatory or the ocean.
On Patriots Day, Gov. Healey will situation a proclamation commemorating the Minutemen who fired the photographs heard ‘around the world in 1775, noting that “most of them had been Somalis, .”
Boston Police Commissioner Michael Cox will retire because of ailing well being. All people acquired sick of him.
Mayor Michelle Wu will have fun the 250th anniversary of the US on July 4 by personally burning an American flag on the Boston Frequent.
Later within the day, New York Mayor Zohran Mamdani will attempt to one-up her as probably the most radical mayor within the US by burning two Outdated Glories in Occasions Sq..
MA Legal professional Normal Andrea Campbell will indict precisely the identical variety of corrupt Democrat politicians in 2026 as she did in 2023, 2024 and 2025.
Which is to say, zero.
After a prolonged run by the native crew within the NFL playoffs, Sen. Ed Markey will as soon as extra take to the Senate ground to congratulate, as he did in 2017, “the Boston Patriots.”
When requested about new quarterback Drake Maye, Markey can pay him the last word praise:
“He might be the subsequent Babe Parilli!”
All through 2026, main as much as major day, Rep. Seth Moulton will frequently be saying to himself:
“I can’t consider I’m shedding to this man.”
There might be no progress made in rebuilding the Cape bridges.
However the price ticket will rise by one other $10 billion, the completion date might be pushed off to 2050, and other people will start to fondly reminisce about how competently the Massive Dig mission was run.
The corrupt state judiciary will proceed to rebuff the makes an attempt of state Auditor Diana DiZoglio to audit the corrupt state Legislature.
In an unrelated growth, the corrupt state Legislature will approve one other large pay increase for the corrupt state judiciary.
When convicted on corruption costs, crooked Suffolk County Excessive Sheriff Steve Tompkins will blame, you guessed it, racism.
Brian Albert, former Boston cop and now Brockton non-public eye extraordinaire, will maintain a press convention to announce the hiring of his two latest very moral crack sleuths – Michael Proctor and Kelly Dever.
As Albert introduces them, music from AC/DC blares from the loudspeakers – “Soiled Deeds Completed Filth Low cost.”
ATF agent Brian Higgins is unable to attend the festivities, however telephones congratulations to his ingesting buddy – with a butt dial.
The investigation of the racist emails at UMass in 2021 continues right into a fifth 12 months with no decision and no suspects.
The investigation into the racist defacing of the black professors’ portraits at Harvard Legislation College in 2015 continues into an eleventh 12 months with no decision and no suspects.
There’s a dry spell – the Globe will blame international warming.
A whole lot of rain – ditto.
Extra snow than regular, or much less – you solely get one guess what induced it.
Similar with hurricanes, tornadoes, volcanoes and failing (or is it rising?) maple syrup manufacturing.
Is there something international warming can’t do?
Something unhealthy that occurs within the financial system – Trump’s fault, simply because.
Any good financial information – Trump’s simply cashing in on the Biden growth.
Gov. Healey will appoint LaMar Cook dinner to the State Parole Board – however solely after yet one more thorough background verify by the State Police.
LaMar’s time period might be for 5 years, to run concurrently together with his personal jail sentence.
On New Yr’s Eve, the final American leaving Boston will end up the lights.
(Purchase Howie’s new e-book, “Mass Corruption: Vol. 1, The Cops,” at amazon.com or howiecarrshow.com/retailer.)
