DEAR ABBY: I supervise a gaggle of six mid-level professionals. Normally, we handle high-quality, however a present battle might push me over the sting. “Lauren” lives alone with canine that appear to be her solely household. One among them (age 11) had been sick. She saved asking for sick depart to take him to the vet. I instructed her she had to make use of trip time for that.
Nicely, the canine died, and now Lauren desires to take bereavement depart. After I refused, she had a match and began yelling about unequal remedy as a result of one other co-worker, “Jenny,” was allowed to take bereavement depart earlier this 12 months.
Jenny’s toddler son died in a drowning accident. It was a horrific tragedy. Jenny was traumatized and incapacitated for weeks. The conditions are usually not comparable. However Jenny heard Lauren yelling and evaluating Jenny’s little one to her aged basset hound. That is inflicting all kinds of interpersonal issues that HR has flatly refused to get entangled with.
I perceive that Lauren liked her canine, however I additionally assume she must get a grip, apologize to Jenny and take a trip if she must. Is it unreasonable to count on an grownup to know the distinction between a human and a canine and act accordingly? — STRESSED SUPERVISOR IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR SUPERVISOR: I feel you already know the reply to your reasonably snarky query. HR at your agency could also be reluctant to deal with this sizzling potato as a result of they don’t have a coverage in place that covers pet sickness or bereavement for the lack of one. Please recommend it to your employer.
DEAR ABBY: My spouse and I are seniors and reside in a one-floor condominium. I’m in good well being, however she has a number of medical points, together with impaired steadiness and mobility. She refuses the really helpful bodily remedy and infrequently makes use of the walker I purchased for her. She hates cooking now and desires me to drive nearly each day for takeout, which is dear and time-consuming. Now, she’s speaking about promoting our condominium to maneuver right into a seniors’ advanced with impartial, assisted and persevering with care phases. All meals are ready there.
I don’t want this transfer and have instructed her so. After I do, she goes silent for days, telling me it’s time for the change. I disagree. We’re at an deadlock. I’m so upset about this I’m contemplating divorce after 55 years. What do you suggest we do? — STILL YOUNG IN NORTH CAROLINA
DEAR STILL YOUNG: I like to recommend you focus on this along with your CPA and your legal professional earlier than making any selections. In case you might afford it, an assisted residing facility for her whilst you stay within the apartment is perhaps superb. Nonetheless, if that’s not doable, would you be prepared to ship her to the power whilst you lease a one-bedroom residence for your self?
One factor I’m fairly certain of: Your spouse is signaling that she’s shutting down. Her world is now smaller than it was. You haven’t aged on the similar fee, and it could be time to do for her what you prefer to her to do for you if the scenario have been reversed.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
