The UMass payroll is a joke – a really costly joke for the taxpayers.
Earlier than stepping into among the open and gross hackerama, I need to point out what might be probably the most ZooMass job title of the 12 months, at ZooMass Boston.
Meet Calvin Hill (no, not the working again). This Calvin Hill is “Vice Chancellor for Inclusive Excellence and Belonging.”
Pay: $227,532 a 12 months.
Belonging! Who knew that was a job description? Solely at UMass. And he’s doing double obligation – each Inclusive Excellence and Belonging.
That vice chancellor of belonging title could also be an much more traditional ZooMass job classification than final 12 months’s winner, with Carolyn Brownawell.
She is, or was, the “Chief Individuals Technique Officer & deputy government vice chancellor.”
Massive job, I assume, as a result of she made $453,966.45. However final 12 months she tumbled to $147,836.50, and it appears to be like like she’s gone.
Oh no! What’s going to UMass do and not using a Chief Individuals Technique Officer?
The truth that Carolyn was the “chief” signifies that there could have been at the very least one Deputy Individuals Technique Officer, so let’s hope that “they” can take up the slack within the Individuals Technique racket.
UMass is a hack’s dream. Imagine it or not, it’s a fair softer gig than being a decide, and in case you don’t imagine me, simply ask David Lowy.
Lowy is a hack’s hack, previously of the Supreme Judicial Court docket. He’s married to a different member of the Hack Corridor of Fame, Ginny Buckingham. She was working Massport in 2001 when Muslim terrorists used industrial airliners flying out of Logan Airport to kill 3,000 People on 9/11.
Good job, Ginny!
Then her hubby, one other Beacon Hill payroll patriot, obtained the do-nothing SJC job, the place he was making $226,187 in 2023.
Just one drawback: the pension. Lowy wanted these three highest years, as they are saying, to rake within the actually huge bucks.
This can be a custom at UMass. Keep in mind Billy Bulger, the Corrupt Midget, brother of Democrat serial killer Whitey Bulger? He parlayed the presidency of the state Senate into the identical job at UMass.
Since his “retirement” in 2003, Bulger has been accumulating a kiss within the mail of first $202,000 a 12 months, after which, for the reason that loss of life of his spouse in 2020, $274,000 a 12 months.
Hacks examine these numbers. Hey, they don’t have anything else to do all day lengthy. They certain ain’t working. Am I proper Justice Lowy?
Now, regardless of his impeccable hack pedigree, Lowy couldn’t hope to grow to be president of ZooMass. That sinecure is owned by Marty Meehan, the previous Congressman. He made $879,453.66 final 12 months and couldn’t be pried out with the Jaws of Life.
However wait, what about… Common Counsel?
That’s one of many nice hack comfort prizes at UMass.
Keep in mind Gerry Leone, the previous DA of Marty Meehan’s outdated house county of Middlesex. He determined he’d stop and go into personal apply and make the large bucks, however by some means, his dream didn’t bear fruit.
Quickly Leone was crawling again to the hackerama, the place his outdated county crony Meehan made him… Common Counsel. Leone obtained in his Three Highest Years, together with in 2023 a complete of $371,421.05.
In 2024, he pocketed one other $32,209.30 and one other $93,761.84 in “go away/purchase again.” In different phrases, Gerry Leone did even higher in hack payouts than LaMar Prepare dinner did final 12 months.
Now Leone has a pension — $200,201.52 a 12 months.
So guess who determined to, uh, retire from the SJC in 2024. You solely get one guess.
The brand new Common Counsel of ZooMass is lifelong payroll patriot David Lowy.
One other nationwide search!
In 2024, in first (partial) 12 months in his new no-heavy-lifting sinecure, Lowy pocketed $351,050.
Final 12 months, Mr. Ginny Buckingham’s pay skyrocketed to $449,772 a 12 months. And behind that comes the (tax-free) pension, plus I imagine a hack judicial pension, which in accordance with the state Comptroller’s information, Lowy doesn’t appear to have began accumulating but.
So 80% of $450,000 will probably be… not dangerous! Simply suppose how a lot the Buckinghams can be pocketing if solely the Muslims had determined to fly out of another US airport again in 2001.
This in fact is simply the tip of the payroll-patriot iceberg not simply at ZooMass, however in larger schooling usually.
Do you know that UMass has a “head soccer coach” who made $1,406,376.56 final 12 months. He isn’t to be confused with the opposite “head soccer coach” who made $705,439.54 in 2025.
Because the outdated athletic saying goes, it’s not the excessive price of excellence that’s ruining sports activities, it’s the excessive price of mediocrity. Or within the case of UMass, beneath mediocrity.
A couple of extra from the Forgotten However Not Gone brigade of public larger ed.
John Quinn, 18-year hack state rep, failed candidate for Bristol County sheriff. Now “Assistant Dean of Public Curiosity Regulation Applications and Exterior Relations” on the ridiculous legislation college in Bristol County.
Wow! He made $267,950.
Then there are the Vinnys.
Vinny Pedone was a state rep in Worcester. Then he died and went to heaven. At age 58, he now makes $251,950 a 12 months in some phony-baloney job at “Mass State Universities Council of Presidents.”
The opposite Vinny is Vinny DeMacedo, a Republican from Plymouth who obtained into politics as a result of it was lots simpler (and higher paying) than pumping gasoline for a dwelling.
Now he makes $196,300 a 12 months at Bridgewater State Faculty, er, College. (All of them grow to be universities as a result of that approach all of the hacks might give themselves much more pay raises.)
That’s it for at present. Someday quickly, I need to delve into all of the titles they bestow on each other at UMass.
For example, I’ve already discovered two cases the place the “affiliate vice chancellor” is making greater than the “vice chancellor.” Why? And does an “government vice chancellor” outrank a “deputy government vice chancellor,” to not point out a “vice chancellor?”
And the place precisely does a “senior affiliate vice chancellor” rank on the depth chart?
One other thriller: what the hell is a provost?
And why does ZooMass needn’t solely provosts, but in addition vice provosts, affiliate vice provosts, assistant vice provosts and senior vice provosts?
I don’t ask for a lot in relation to a do-nothing hack UMass job. Simply make me the affiliate deputy assistant senior vice provost for… belonging.
You haven’t any concept how a lot inclusive excellence I’ll deliver to my new belonging place. After just a few months, I’ll be prepared for exchange Carolyn as Chief Individuals Technique Officer. You already know why I’ll try this job so nicely at UMass?
It’s as a result of I’m a individuals particular person.
(Order Howie’s new e-book, “Mass Corruption, Vol. 1: The Cops,” at amazon.com or howiecarrshow.com/retailer.)
