DEAR MISS MANNERS: A co-worker invited a number of folks and their spouses over to observe a preferred sporting occasion.
After everybody within the workplace bombarded him with questions on what to convey, he insisted we convey nothing.
By no means having met his spouse or having been to his residence, I introduced a seasonal hand cleaning soap as a small thank-you for internet hosting us.
They each laughed on the gesture. In reality, it was a working gag between them for a lot of the night, saying issues like, “Thank goodness now we have sufficient cleaning soap!” or “Perhaps we must always all wash our arms.”
I smiled together with them, however thought such a response was odd. My partner introduced beer, which was shared among the many visitors with out jokes.
To keep away from such a state of affairs sooner or later, ought to I not convey a hostess present to gatherings?
GENTLE READER: Hostess presents should not the requirement they had been as soon as generally thought of, and Miss Manners would positively dispense with them if the hosts are solely going to ridicule you in your efforts.
Come to think about it, she wouldn’t be inclined to socialize with such folks.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I stay in a rural space the place cellphone reception and web service may be spotty, which generally ends in calls being dropped with out warning.
Callers who’re accustomed to infallible expertise may be baffled by this. I’ve even been accused of getting hung up on somebody! However extra generally, an ungainly trade ensues, the place every individual tries to name the opposite again concurrently and may’t get by.
With the intention to keep away from this, I’ve gotten into the behavior of letting callers know upfront that if I initiated the decision, I’ll name them again in case of an interruption (or vice versa, if they’re the one who referred to as me). This appears logical, and I discover myself wishing it might turn into established cellphone etiquette.
GENTLE READER: Maybe, however expertise modifications extra rapidly than etiquette.
Somebody extra educated concerning the inside workings of telecommunications than Miss Manners should clarify to her why its bugs seem to have longer lives than its merchandise.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother and I are the monetary gatekeepers for our aged, fairly rich mom. Mother refers all requests for donations to us.
How can we politely get a few of these requesters to only go away? One particularly retains pestering me for a gathering with my mom. She’s on the lookout for, I consider, both a significant present or to be included within the will.
We’ve to proceed to stay on this comparatively small city, so I can’t be as impolite as I want to be.
GENTLE READER: Why would you want to be impolite? Fundraisers could also be persistent, however they’re, in Miss Manners’ expertise, no extra than anybody else in losing their time.
Clarify that you just and your brother make these choices in your mom, and that you’re not all for donating to this trigger. For those who really feel these requests have been lower than well mannered, then you possibly can neglect to append a “thanks.”
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or by postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
