DEAR MISS MANNERS: We now have an older live-in nanny for our two younger youngsters.
Throughout the week, she stays in our basement, the place she has a bed room, toilet and dwelling space, and he or she goes house on the weekends.
She has expressed to us that she feels uncomfortable when now we have visitors keep in her quarters over the weekend.
It appears odd to me that the basement ought to be completely “hers” even when she isn’t there. Are we within the improper?
GENTLE READER: By your individual description, sure. She is a live-in worker, not a transient visitor amongst different attainable visitors. These are her dwelling quarters, no matter the place she spends her day without work.
Presumably, she retains her garments and different private possessions there. Leaving them out in your visitors to see should be disconcerting, and packing them away can be a nuisance.
Miss Manners suggests you consider this association the best way you’ll a rental property: Sure, it’s nonetheless yours, however you don’t have using it for the time period when you will have put in somebody there.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve seen younger males with their moms selecting out a hoop that the younger lady of his alternative is meant to like and put on without end. What in the event that they picked one thing she actually didn’t like?
I want to suggest a brand new custom: The proposal is made and accepted, however as a substitute of a hoop, the proposer gives a jewel field that incorporates a diamond, or a stone that the newly minted bride-to-be likes, and an appointment time at a jeweler to pick out the setting that fits the wearer and the proposer’s funds.
The proposer ought to have already discovered what kind of stone is desired and the form of the stone. The proposer can then select the stone that matches the funds and can please its wearer.
Usually jewelers enable the stone to get replaced with a bigger one and the value is discounted by the price of the unique stone.
GENTLE READER: Level taken. However fairly than ship these gents round evaluating stones they know nothing about, Miss Manners want to suggest the revival of an older custom.
Earlier than a hoop grew to become a prop in efficiency artwork proposals, it was not thought of essential to current one on the time — or in any respect. The provide of marriage was considered thrilling sufficient.
In addition to, what was the gentleman speculated to do with an costly buy if he weren’t accepted?
Presuming success, he may provide her a household ring, if he have been lucky sufficient to have one. (Admittedly, that may be laborious to say no, however the girl might at all times say later that it was so treasured to her that she wouldn’t threat dropping it, subsequently carrying it solely on particular events.)
Absent a household ring, nevertheless, the accepted suitor would make a non-public go to to a jeweler beforehand and put aside a collection of rings in his worth vary. Presuming success, there would then be a pleasant tour when he introduced her to make her alternative.
Please ship your inquiries to Miss Manners at her web site, www.missmanners.com; to her e mail, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or by way of postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas Metropolis, MO 64106.
